By Courtany Schick
Disclaimer: The author was provided a free, Wyoming Orange Poopity Scooper™ for the purposes of review. This review does not speak for Swallow Media™. All thoughts and opinions expressed herein are the author’s and are not influenced by Kanye West, Yeezy Season 6, PetCo, and/or their affiliates in any way.
Thanks to Kanye West’s soft spot for all things feline and his fierce entrepreneurial spirit, the hottest and cattiest scoop of the summer is coming to PetCo’s nation-wide! The KANYE x PETCO collaboration we didn’t even know we have *all* been waiting for is the one, the only: Poopity Scooper™.
For all you cool cats out there, fortunately, you’ll be able to match your Poopity Scooper™ to your cat with one (or many!) of its versatile color options: Beige, White, Off-White, Eggshell, Black, Darker Black, and Wyoming Orange.
In a series of disjointed and seemingly drug-induced tweets last month, Kanye alluded to the collaboration saying, “I’m the shit and I’m dropping a bunch of shit this summer, so it only makes sense that I make something to help scoop some of the shit in the world back up” as well as “Grrrat-gat. Gat-gat, gat, ga-gat-ga-ga-gat.”
PetCo responded to our request for comment saying, “Honestly, we were so surprised that Kanye wanted to partner with us that most of us at PetCo immediately shat ourselves. We had been really worried about losing relevance, but then Kanye called and insisted that we take him seriously. Don’t use this as your pull-quote, because this is fucking dumb as shit, but everybody at PetCo couldn’t help it… we all started cheering, ‘Yay for Kanye!’.”
When Kanye responded to our Instagram DMs asking if he wanted to add anything to this article, he said, “I’m the greatest. I can do anything. I will do everything. That’s why next month you’ll be hearing all about my ‘for-ye’ into food, Kanyements™’ KyeUp™ and MustarDonda™.”
The Poopity Scooper™ that I received can hold over 21 pounds of steaming, hot cat poo, making it a serious gold digger! [Editor’s Note: we did not require the author to fact check this with real feces, but they insisted.]
To shop the Poopity Scooper™, slink on over to your local PetCo this summer or pre-order online here. Guess who’s already ordered one in every color? ME-ow!