By Peyton Stewart

Jack White was bum rushed by a hoard of children at a local candy shop in his hometown this week, who seemingly mistook him for Willy Wonka. Though when the kids approached him, he badgered them about how vinyl is superior to streaming and how cell phones are killing live shows.

The parents let their kids swarm White, assuming he was just another nerd cosplaying Edward Scissorhands from the comic con going on 3 blocks away.

“Jack is an introverted guy. His vampire-like skin only allows him to come into direct sunlight for about 15-30 minutes a day, so to say the least these kids ruined cherished time for him.”

Parents, keep your children in check.

Jack White’s new album, Boarding House Reach, is now available everywhere for stream and purchase.