How I collected Post Malone’s Sweat and Sold it for Profit

Reddit™ is home to a bustling marketplace of merchants and customers buying and selling poop, pee, worn panties, period blood, human milk, throw up, and more. You think I’m kidding?

Post Malone Sweat 1.png

With Post Malone’s chart-topping album “Beerbongs & Bentleys” being generally accepted as an instant hip-hop classic, it’s hard to think about anything without thinking of Post.

While recently on Reddit™ browsing to purchase some poo like any other day, I had an epiphany;

Hold your horses, I’ve been collecting Post Malone’s tour sweat for 2 months straight.

Would this community of perverts I’ve become so close with over the years be interested in buying all that sweat? I love the thought of letting someone else treasure Post’s juices, or maybe it’s the thought of not being so Malooone.

Either way, I couldn’t wait to find out.

I grabbed all my jars and the one zip-lock bag I filled when I ran out of jars and measured out a whopping 4 Liters. At first I thought I was crazy, but I must have measured it 6 times. 4 Liters.

I put up photos of it all on Reddit™ to find out, YES! These perverts DO want to purchase jars of Post Malone sweat. They even bought the zip-lock bag, being very understanding that I ran out of jars.

Post Malone Sweat 3.png

That’s where we got the money we used to fund swallow-media.com.

I was never in it for the money, though. Money is but a fleeting thrill. The hours I’ve spent following post Malone to every show, faking press passes, and ringing out the little towel he wiped his brow into a bottle. That’s priceless.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s