Richard Slinger

Nowhere Special, U.S.A.

June 23, 2018 2:14AM

Since “The Story of Adidon” was released, no one will book Drake due to the black face, AND he’s been paying child support out the wazoo to his previously unknown baby mama.

A source close to the situation revealed “Drake is broke now. Point. Blank. Period.”

Started from the bottom, now he’s back there. Rock bottom. He can’t even afford decent ad space. His last dime was spent on this billboard, and boy howdy what a shitty purchase.

Clearly his lyrics “I only love my bed and mama I’m sorry” were written in a state of depression, from a lonely bed in his mothers basement where he lays around collecting cheeto dust as his mother answers his every beckon call. Rotting like a banana in the Mississippi sunshine.

Before you know it, Drake will be with me. Drunk and stoned in a seedy comedy club connected to a church AND a pool hall. He’ll be hitting on the meth fiend bartender, playing Texas Hold Em. Reminiscing about a simpler time, before the blackface and the rap beefs.

One can’t help but wonder, “What Would Meek Do?”