Brockhampton To Replace Ex-Member Ameer Vann With R. Kelly

By Jacob Babcock

Meet the newest member of America’s favorite boyband!

It’s been an eventful year for American hip-hop collective and self-proclaimed boyband Brockhampton. Back in 2017, they released 3 installments of their “Saturation” album trilogy to commercial and critical success, boosted by a ringing endorsement from popular online music critic Anthony Fantano or “theneedledrop”. They even name-dropped him in their Saturation 3 song “ZIPPER” with a line from Merlyn Wood reading “head was clean, Tony Fantano!” (short for Anthony Fantano).

However, things haven’t all been GOLD for the group; they’ve frequently rapped about continuing to have struggled in spite of now being famous and worst of all, they recently had to kick out member Ameer Vann amid claims of sexual assault by multiple women. Many members of the Brockhampton fanbase couldn’t help but feel betrayed after one of their favorite members was evicted from the group, but fans no longer have to fear, Brockhampton has finally announced a replacement, popular R&B singer R. Kelly!

R. Kelly himself has recently been in the news for sexual misconduct after releasing a 17-minute song denying allegations that he ran a “sex ring” for underage girls and that he committed multiple acts of sexual assault and pedophilia.

“I just wanted to take the group in a new direction,” frontman Kevin Abstract said of the controversial decision. “A lot of groups aren’t willing to take bold risks like this; we’re really changing the culture.”

R. Kelly has declined to comment.

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