Fans worldwide had a meltdown when it became public knowledge that the superstar K-Pop boyband BTS would be completing their mandatory military service like any other member of their community.
Author: Swallow Media Team
Intelligent music news for intelligent music people
T.I. has Doctor Check if Daughter is a Witch to Burn at the Stake
By Yoshi Yui
Rapper-turned-witch-hunter T.I. details his strenuous routine of and identifying and vanquishing witches and banishing them back to the depths of hell.
MF DOOM Fan Sets Man on Fire for Not Spelling Rapper’s Name in All Caps
By Kai Hellberg SOMEWHERE IN FLORIDA– 28-year-old Sal Jamison was set on fire by Brock Lee, an avid MF DOOM fan, after Jamison mistakenly wrote a Facebook comment mentioning the rapper in all lowercase letters. Taking place just last night, this is perhaps the first ever example of an actual “flame war.” The altercation was…
A$AP Rocky Takes Bold Stance Against Sexual Predators That Aren’t His Friends
By Jacob Babcock It’s been a tumultuous week for A$AP Rocky. The New York rapper is currently being held under investigation for assault in Sweden following an altercation between him and another group of men who had allegedly “followed us for 4 blocks, and slapp[ed] girls butts who passed” (A$AP Rocky on Instagram). So, given…
Asahd Khaled Admits He Doesn’t Post to Instagram, “I’m a Baby”
Some claim that Asahd is living in his father, DJ Khaled’s shadow. DJ is a record producer and disk jockey who rose to stardom despite nobody ever truly enjoying anything he’s made. We at Swallow Media didn’t want to believe the rumors, so we brought in Asahd for an exclusive interview.
Logan Paul To Direct XXXTentacion TV Pilot
A known activist for suicide victims since 2018 and doing the right thing in general, Paul is confirmed to be the director of the TV Pilot based on the life of the late XXXTentacion. Paul claims he is taking this role wholeheartedly, as he was one of the celebrities most effected by the rapper’s sudden death.
Tyler, the Creator confirms IGOR is a companion piece to the movie IGOR
By Yoshi Wall Los Angeles, CA – Although fans who have been anticipating the oft-delayed Steve Buscemi and Tyler the Creator collaborative album might have to wait a little longer, Tyler has revealed that we may have already received the next best thing. While many millenials and zoomers might only know film director/auteur Tony Leondis…
Facing Criticism, Taylor Swift Founds Ally Pride Parade to End Ally Bashing
By Jacob Rivard NASHVILLE, TN. — After receiving backlash for her most recent music video, Taylor Swift has taken it upon herself to put together her most noble cause yet: the first-ever Ally Parade in Nashville. Swift saw this as a chance to stand up for what she considers one of the most oppressed groups…
Confirmed: Playboi Carti Speaks in Wingdings
By Jacob Rivard ATLANTA, GA. — After months of research, a team of linguists from Harvard have finally uncovered the secret behind Playboi Carti’s mysterious manner of speaking. “We had to look everywhere — and I mean everywhere,” Chief Linguistics Officer Brianne Twiddy began, shuffling through a large stack of paperwork. “We tried to translate his…
SZA arrested for buying food with her own money
By Kai Hellberg Calabasas, CA– In a surprising turn of events, R&B artist SZA was apprehended by police after picking up a to-go order at a local Red Lobster yesterday. The Top Dawg Entertainment phenom was vexed to see six law enforcement vehicles outside the restaurant as she went to pick up her order of…
