Asahd Khaled Admits He Doesn’t Post to Instagram, “I’m a Baby”

Some claim that Asahd is living in his father, DJ Khaled’s shadow. DJ is a record producer and disk jockey who rose to stardom despite nobody ever truly enjoying anything he’s made. We at Swallow Media didn’t want to believe the rumors, so we brought in Asahd for an exclusive interview.

Logan Paul To Direct XXXTentacion TV Pilot

A known activist for suicide victims since 2018 and doing the right thing in general, Paul is confirmed to be the director of the TV Pilot based on the life of the late XXXTentacion. Paul claims he is taking this role wholeheartedly, as he was one of the celebrities most effected by the rapper’s sudden death.

Tyler, the Creator confirms IGOR is a companion piece to the movie IGOR

By Yoshi Wall Los Angeles, CA – Although fans who have been anticipating the oft-delayed Steve Buscemi and Tyler the Creator collaborative album might have to wait a little longer, Tyler has revealed that we may have already received the next best thing. While many millenials and zoomers might only know film director/auteur Tony Leondis…

Confirmed: Playboi Carti Speaks in Wingdings

By Jacob Rivard ATLANTA, GA. — After months of research, a team of linguists from Harvard have finally uncovered the secret behind Playboi Carti’s mysterious manner of speaking. “We had to look everywhere — and I mean everywhere,” Chief Linguistics Officer Brianne Twiddy began, shuffling through a large stack of paperwork. “We tried to translate his…

SZA arrested for buying food with her own money

By Kai Hellberg Calabasas, CA– In a surprising turn of events, R&B artist SZA was apprehended by police after picking up a to-go order at a local Red Lobster yesterday. The Top Dawg Entertainment phenom was vexed to see six law enforcement vehicles outside the restaurant as she went to pick up her order of…